Here’s the moment I knew I had a pleasure problem:
It was 2019 and I was 7 days into a 2-week meditation retreat.
I was on sabbatical that year, so it was relatively easy to take time away, and I had little I needed to worry about at home. (In fact, I literally had my home with me; that was the year I lived in an RV.)
The scene was beyond lovely: an eco-dharma retreat center nestled amid the wildflowers and aspens of the Indian Peaks mountains in Colorado.
The group sat in camp chairs for the evening mindfulness sit, watching the sun drop and listening to the sounds of the forest.
My whole job in that moment was to sit and relax.
I had no responsibilities, no to-do list. The weather was perfect. The setting was divine.
And… I was anxious.
My mind raced. My chest and throat were tight. My breath was short.
For absolutely no present-moment reason.
The contrast that day between the setting and my body state was especially stark, but it wasn’t unusual.
I’ve struggled for most of my life to relax and really enjoy the moment, even when it feels like I should be able to.
Even when things are going well.
Even when there’s nothing urgent to do.
Even when I have exactly what I thought I wanted.
Maybe you know the feeling.
You work hard. You care deeply. You get a lot done.
But even when things are going well, it can be surprisingly difficult to enjoy your life.
You finish the project and immediately start thinking about the next one.
You take a day off but can’t fully relax.
You get what you wanted and somehow it still doesn’t feel like enough.
Many of us have spent decades becoming experts at achieving, helping, fixing, planning, and producing.
Very few of us have spent the same amount of time learning how to receive, savor, play, rest, or enjoy.
In the last few years, I’ve become very interested in pleasure.
Not pleasure as indulgence.
Not pleasure as escape.
Not pleasure as endless dopamine hits.
Pleasure as a skill.
Pleasure as a capacity.
Pleasure as something that helps us fully inhabit our lives.
It’s still a skill I’m working on.
But I’ve come a long way.
And along the way, I’ve learned a lot about why pleasure can feel so elusive—and what actually helps.
The more I’ve learned, the more convinced I’ve become that pleasure isn’t the reward for a well-lived life.
It’s part of the fuel.
A growing body of research suggests that positive emotions help us learn, connect, create, recover from stress, broaden our perspective, and build resilience.
People who are nourished, connected, and emotionally resourced often have more capacity to contribute—not less.
Which is why I’ve created a new free workshop:
How to Have More Pleasure (Without Being Selfish or Irresponsible)
Friday, June 2610:30 AM–12:00 PM Mountain Time
In this workshop, you’ll learn:
- Why pleasure matters (especially for hardworking entrepreneurs and service providers)
- The real reasons pleasure feels so hard
- Common pleasure blockers that keep us stuck in striving mode
- Four simple ways to find more pleasure in almost any situation
- How to create your own Simple Pleasure Plan
You’ll also experience a guided alignment practice and leave with practical tools you can start using immediately.
I encourage you to join live if you can. We’ll be doing some fun interactive exercises, and it’s the perfect thing for a summer Friday morning.
That said, go ahead and register even if you can’t attend live—you’ll get access to the replay.
| Register Now |
Because life is happening now.
And if we’re always waiting until everything is done before we allow ourselves to enjoy it, we may end up finding we’re too late.
Pleasurably yours,
Rachel
PS – Research consistently shows that the quality of our relationships is one of the biggest predictors of happiness and well-being. So consider forwarding this email to a friend and inviting them to join you. Pleasure is often even better when it’s shared. Here’s that link again. See you Friday!
