S came out of his coaching session palpably relieved.
“This guy has such great advice,” he reported.
“He told me to forget marketing.
Just focus on building relationships and being of service.
I feel like some big weight has lifted off me; it makes so much sense.”
About 8 months ago, S left a very profitable IT career to begin building his healing business.
The timing wasn’t quite as he’d pictured it — circumstances conspired to push him out of his cozy, outdated nest before he felt totally ready.
But so life works, and now he’s in the midst of turning a soulful passion into a profitable career.
Like so many people building businesses around work they deeply care about, S is figuring out how to marry a set of skills that feel organically and uniquely his with the realities of making money, finding clients, and participating in a marketplace.
He’s faced the disappointing realization that increasing the supply of his services doesn’t automatically create demand.
He’s wrestling with his resistance to showing up online and “selling himself.”
He’s on the mat with questions of “value” and pricing and what happens now that his income is tied to something that actually matters to him in a big way.
I care about S, so I was delighted to hear that this coaching session unlocked something for him.
But I also felt my jaw clench and a heat spread through my belly when I heard the words, “forget marketing.”
“What does this guy think marketing is?!” I said, trying to seem calmer than I felt.
“And more importantly, what do YOU think I do all day, if the advice to ‘forget it’ feels amazing to you!?”
Because here’s the thing: The way I see it, being of service and building relationships isn’t an alternative to marketing. It’s what good marketing is.
It’s not about flashy tactics, deception, or coercion.
It’s not about tricking or pressuring someone into paying for something they don’t need.
I don’t believe in “manufacturing demand” — that’s a dead-end and a waste of time and ethically dubious anyway.
The kind of marketing I spent years doing—and still believe in—is a way of being of service and building relationships with people we aren’t talking to one-on-one or face-to-face.
If you’ve ever wondered how to market without feeling salesy, this is the distinction I’d start with: stop thinking of marketing as convincing people, and start thinking of it as building relationships at scale.
We invite people into a story, where they can understand how their lives might transform given what we offer.
We get really clear on our side so they can feel calm, confident, and clear over there.
We offer advice, education, and valuable insights for free, so we can help people even if they never buy from us.
We build trust by being generous and authentic.
And I think there’s something bigger underneath this resistance for a lot of people.
When your work matters deeply to you, selling it can feel intensely personal. Suddenly your livelihood, your sense of purpose, your desire to help, and your own questions about worth can all get tangled together.
Sometimes the problem isn’t that you need a better marketing strategy. You need to untangle the knot.
So if the words “forget marketing” help you drop all the baggage you’ve attached to it, great.
Forget marketing — if you think it’s anything other than building relationships and being of service.
And then remember it again, refreshed.
In service,
Rachel
PS — Building a business around work you love has a funny way of bringing all your stuff to the surface: money, worth, visibility, rejection, purpose, belonging. If that’s the territory you’re in, it’s also exactly the kind of territory I love coaching in. Book a free consultation and let’s untangle it.
