“I just sent an email setting a boundary with my former partner,” a friend shared over dinner the other night.
“How does it feel?” I asked.
“Uncomfortable,” they replied.
That about sums it up.
BEING empowered feels amazing. We feel proud of ourselves. In control. On top of the world. In alignment with life.
It’s the best place to live from.
GETTING empowered though? Bleck.
Getting empowered means doing things we haven’t been willing to do yet.
Saying no.
Setting a boundary.
Avoiding a bad habit.
Waking up early.
Doing more than we realized we could.
The list goes on.
The feelings associated with the path to empowerment include: fear, discomfort, nausea, frustration, discouragement, hopelessness, and more.
These are not yummy.
It’s kind of the same way BEING strong is awesome, and GETTING strong requires quite a lot of discomfort—literally tearing up your muscle fibers again and again so they grow.
Except somehow, this work of emotional weightlifting can be even harder to turn towards than the gym.
I suspect it’s because of the meta-narrative (story about the story).
Most of us understand “no pain, no gain” with building physical strength—and will cheer someone on as they take their first steps to a new level of physical health.
However, many of us don’t realize (or easily forget) that healthy discomfort is generally essentially for new levels of psychoemotional health.
So when a friend starts turning towards their grief, for example, we’re as likely to help them avoid and numb it as to cheer them on.
When a colleague feels uncomfortable stretching into a new terrain, we might try to get them to back off instead of normalizing the sensation of growth.
Now, I’m also not saying that buckle-down-and-endure it is always the best choice. Sometimes softening away from challenge is exactly the best move.
But growing your empowerment? Very likely it’s going to require breathing and relaxing through discomfort—and doing it anyway.
This is a paradox. A dance. A fine discernment.
How do you know? You observe.
Why does this matter?
Because every goal you have for 2026 or beyond, every hint of the person you know you can be but aren’t yet—they lay on the far side of a new level of empowerment.
The faster you can reorient how you relate to the yucky sensations of growth, the faster you will grow.
To your full aliveness,
Rachel
PS – Sometimes it takes an outside eye to help sort the difference between “good yucky feelings, keep going” and “bad yucky feelings, back off.” This is one of the many, many skills I help my clients learn so they can grow their businesses, improve their relationships, and have more joy every day. Hit reply to schedule a free consultation.
