“I’m having too many feelings,” he said. “I wish I could turn them off.”
I get it. I have so much compassion for the overwhelming intensity that seems to course through these human bodies in hard moments.
But as he said it, I thought of this:
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You can’t cherry-pick your way to aliveness.
Most of us spend years perfecting the art of staying comfortable, learning which emotions to allow and which to push down.
We believe, perhaps unconsciously, that if we avoid the hard stuff, we’ll have more room for joy.
Sad story: It doesn’t work that way.
Awareness isn’t selective.
When you numb grief, you also numb delight.
When you armor against fear, you close off wonder and pleasure.
There’s only one faucet, and it carries everything.
So what does that mean for you?
It means if you want to love your life, you have to get good at feeling your pain.
My loved one can’t turn his pain off; not in the long run. It will just dampen his pleasure.
One of the core skills I help my clients practice is the capacity to stay with their emotions—including the hard ones.
This matters because it’s the only path to feeling fully alive.
The more you can be with what’s difficult, the more depth becomes available everywhere.
This isn’t easy work, but it’s extremely rewarding.
Those who become skillful with the discomfort of their emotions find a freedom unavailable any other way.
✨ Tell me: What emotion are you most likely to avoid? What would you like to feel more of?
Flowingly yours,
Rachel
PS – If you’re ready to love your life more, it’s ok to need support. It IS possible, and it’s less hard than you might think. Hit reply to schedule a free consultation and we’ll go from there.
