Wanna get better at something—anything?
Could be pickleball, having constructive fights with your partner, charging more for your services, staying calm around an animal that scares you (I’m looking at you, snakes! )…
Whatever it is, you can improve your own skill just by seeing someone else succeed at it.
You read that right: Just watching another person do something is a proven, effective way to increase what’s possible for you.
This is a psychological phenomenon called “vicarious mastery” and it’s very good news.
Here’s what’s happening:
Your brain is constantly updating its sense of what’s safe, what’s possible, and what “people like you” can do.
And one of the fastest ways it updates is by watching.
When you see someone else:
- Tell their friend something awkward and have it end well
- Quit the job they hate
- Keep going on a rock climbing wall even though they’re terrified
- Save up enough money to buy a house
Your brain updates its story: “Ah. That’s doable.” Especially if that person feels even a little like you.
This is why group learning environments can be so powerful, witnessing real stories lands differently than hearing advice, and being in around the right people changes you.
You don’t just learn new techniques. You start to believe new things are available to you.
Which is hugely important, because belief is often the bottleneck.
People don’t just succeed because they’re capable—they succeed because they stay in the game longer. Seeing someone else do it literally increases how long you’re willing to keep going.
This is also one of the reasons having a coach can accelerate growth so much.
Coaching helps because it gives you tools, yes. But also, your coach often becomes a living example of:
- what’s possible
- how to move through the messy parts
- what it looks like to actually do the thing
They help you see and believe in the process, not just the outcome. And in doing so, you actually get better at your own life.
So here’s a simple invitation this week:
Pick one area you’re trying to grow in right now. Who is already doing that well in a way that feels relatable to you?
Spend time around them. Let your nervous system take notes. Be intentional about what—and who—you’re exposing yourself to.
You might find that something starts to shift… before you’ve even “done” anything yet.
Sometimes growth isn’t about pushing harder.
Sometimes it’s about seeing footsteps on the path ahead.
To your mastery of all forms,
Rachel
PS – You know those moments when you’re asking:
“Do I stay in this relationship?”
“Is this work still aligned?”
“Is it selfish to want something different?”
That’s the kind of thing I help people untangle in coaching. If you’re sitting in one of those messy, high-stakes moments and want support to find what’s true — I’d love to talk. Hit reply and we can set up a consultation.
PPS – Come to Office Hours on April 29 for a dose of vicarious mastery live! You’ll get to watch (and participate in) real coaching, real conversations, and real shifts happening live. Join here for free: https://luma.com/wildgenius
*This concept comes from a great book I just read, “Feel-Good Productivity” by Ali Abdaal
