The lettuce was going bad, and I was furious.
It hadn’t been my idea to buy the huge four-pack of romaine heads at Costco — who in their right mind needs this much lettuce?
But my partner at the time was all about the romaine four-pack, and into the cart it went.
Now, 10 days later, we’d eaten one of the four heads, and the rest were starting to wilt!
I looked up from the fridge, seething.
This is such a typical example of his extravagance, I thought. The way he’s overly optimistic about everything, the way he’s completely unattuned to what’s realistic in normal human 3D life.
I could feel the fight between us brewing like storm clouds on the horizon.
Then I remembered something my coach had been teaching me: when an emotion or thought is taking over, one way to get freedom from it is to make it bigger.
This principle shows up in other areas, too. In driving school, we’re taught to steer into the skid.
In certain forms of physical therapy, we’re taught that briefly contracting a tight muscle—intentionally exaggerating the tension—can sometimes help it release.
And some mechanical locks? You push them inward to make them pop open. (My gas cap does this.)
“The lettuce! The LETTUCE!” I cried, hand at my forehead like a 1950s movie star. “Whatever shall we do about this LETTUCE?!”
I was still mad, but I felt a little looseness creep in. I kept going.
“Call the papers! Call a doctor! We’re entering the Great Lettuce Crisis of 2019!”
At this point, my partner was definitely amused.
“How COULD you?!” I shrieked, soap opera style, as if he’d just drowned my cat. “WE BOUGHT TOO MUCH LETTUCE!!”
And on we went, until it was just funny. Fight averted.
I thought of this moment again this week while in a classic Make It Bigger moment:
One part of me wanted one thing; the mature, wise, good-for-me choice.
Another part was devastated. Furious. Throwing a tantrum. Completely unwilling to choose the Grown-Up Way.
So I gave each part a voice—in a version of a Polarity Dance.
But when it came time to really be the tantrumy part, I noticed my own resistance. I wanted to rush through it. Tone it down. Get out fast.
Luckily, I had a friend there coaching and witnessing me. And she invited me to—yep—Make It Bigger.
So I did. I started stamping my feet, clenching my fists, and whining: “I don’t wanna! I don’t WANNA!”
Please note: Making it Bigger really requires your whole body. That’s part of the trick.
Pretty soon, something shifted. I dropped deeper into myself and touched into a layer of sadness and grief.
Because making the adult choice? It was hard. It often is.
But once I felt those waves move through me, some space opened up.
Of course part of me didn’t want to. Of course.
No problem.
Your turn: Feel into something that has you annoyed, stressed, or tight right now.
Whatever you find—can you exaggerate it? Make it bigger?
Let it take up space. Let it be over the top. Let it move.
And just see what happens.
Dramatically yours,
Rachel
PS – You can make it bigger in a playful moment—but some parts of life feel too tangled, too persistent, or too tender to navigate alone. That’s where coaching comes in. A good coach helps you meet yourself fully, see what’s really driving your patterns, and create the life you actually want—with less flailing and fewer detours. If whatever you’re stuck with feels too important to ignore, let’s talk. I offer free 1-hour consultations to explore whether coaching together is a fit. Just hit reply and we’ll find a time.
