“If you know where you’re heading, your chances of getting there go WAY up.” — John Chitty
About a year ago, a friend and I sat on a plane, heading to Arizona for a funeral.
It’s a short flight from Denver. We could have filled it in a lot of ways—sleeping, reading, zoning out with movies.
Instead, I shyly asked him to try a practice I’d started getting pretty attached to: setting clear intentions for the trip.
I pulled out a notebook, flipped to a fresh page, and wrote the date and “Intentions for Tucson Trip” at the top.
“So,” I asked. “What do we want to create for the next few days?”
This might seem like a strange question. We were going to a funeral. Wasn’t it obvious what would happen?
Maybe the “what” was obvious. But the “how”? That was up to us.
We spent a solid 40 minutes discussing and refining intention after intention, ultimately writing a long list.
We sorted them into three groups: his intentions, my intentions, and our shared intentions.
I won’t share his—he doesn’t know I’m writing this. But mine included:
- Be attuned and responsive to the needs of my body
- Allow and stand for pauses
- Savor my experience—even the pain. Remember that this is the good stuff.
- Remember that I am a f**cking treasure (more on that some other time)
- Continue to find my right relationship with [the deceased]
- Hold graceful, loving, self-honoring boundaries with the deceased’s family
- Be gentle with myself
- Embody my favorite parts of [the deceased] as a form of honoring his life
- Trust that life is putting me just where I need to be
- Let my feelings be as big as they are and move them through my body
- Make time for self care
- Move at my pace
- Release and cleanse and leave clearer than I arrived
- Only do my own work
A few of our shared intentions, to give you the flavor:
- Same team
- Allow our authentic presence and expression to be a gift to others
- Read our intentions daily.
That last one was key—and in this case, we actually read them more often than that.
So how did it go? Better than I could have imagined.
We had an incredibly intentional and meaningful trip.
Whenever I felt myself falling apart into a puddle, I leaned into our list.
Because we knew each other’s intentions, we reminded each other of them. We helped each other shape the experience we wanted. We responded to life in ways that matched our values.
Best funeral trip ever.
(I jest, but only a little.)
Here’s the thing about intentions: They’re powerful. Really powerful.
Naming a destination or a direction is like casting a magic spell.
It starts to organize reality.
When I practice craniosacral therapy, I have all my clients name an intention at the start of the session.
The pre/perinatal womb surround work I love—basically preverbal trauma healing workshops—also relies heavily on intention-setting.
And setting shared intentions with someone you’re moving through time and space with? Priceless.
I’ve done this practice dozens of times, mostly with my former partner.
Every vacation, every stretch of time, we pulled out our intentions journal.
We even set intentions for why and how we were breaking up. And they were super helpful.
Here are a few tips for setting powerful intentions:
Aim for what you want to create. If the thought starts with “I don’t want to scroll on my phone so much” or “I want this pain to go away,” don’t stop there. Ask yourself: What would I have if I had that? Maybe it’s “Being present in the moment.” Or “Feeling well in my body.” Notice the difference?
Play with the wording until it feels right. The goal is something that resonates in your body and says exactly what you mean. Don’t settle for vague or abstract.
Write them down. And read them often. If it’s for a specific journey, trip, or chapter in life—daily is ideal.
My intention for sharing this with you?
To encourage you to try it—soon.
You can’t overuse this practice.
Next meeting? Start with an intention.
Next vacation? Set them together.
Even your next dinner out—try it and watch the meal deepen.
Fill your life with intentions, and watch what you create.
Intentionally yours,
Rachel
PS – Since we’re talking about the power of intentions (and womb surrounds and my former partner)…
If you’re a man—or love a man—who wants to show up more fully in relationships or step into the world with more ease, this might be for you. My former partner Elan is leading a men’s-only Womb Surround, May 20–24 near Boulder, CO. It’s a powerful space to unwind early wounds most of us don’t even realize we’re carrying—the kind that quietly shape how we love, lead, and live. Only a few spots left. More info here.
