There’s an ancient Taoist parable about a farmer and his horse. Perhaps you’ve heard it?
Here’s a version I like, from Stanford researcher Shirzad Chamine’s book Positive Intelligence:
The Stallion Story
An old farmer lives on his farm with his teenage son. He also has a beautiful stallion that he lovingly cares for.
The farmer enters his stallion into the annual country fair competition. His stallion wins first prize. The farmer’s neighbors gather to congratulate him on this great win. He calmly says, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?” Puzzled by this reaction, the neighbors go away.
The next week, some thieves who heard about the stallion’s increased value steal the horse. When the neighbors come to commiserate with the farmer, they find him again very calm and gathered. He says, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?” Several days later, the spirited stallion escapes from the thieves and finds his way back to the farm, bringing with him a few wild mares he has befriended along the way.
To his neighbors’ excited rounds of congratulations, the old farmer once again says, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?” A few weeks later, the farmer’s son is thrown off one of these new mares as he is trying to break it in, and his leg is fractured.
As the neighbors gather to commiserate with the old farmer, he once again reminds them, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?”
The following week, the imperial army marches through the village, conscripting all eligible young men for the war that has just broken out. The old farmer’s son is spared due to his fractured leg.
The neighbors no longer bother to come to the old farmer to congratulate him. By now they know what his response will be: “Who knows what is good and what is bad?”
The old farmer is resting in a state of not-knowing.
He’s practicing being with what is, without anticipating or interpreting it.
Most spiritual traditions would call this wisdom.
I have a REALLY hard time with it.
My brain loves racing ahead and drawing strong conclusions about everything.
It’s an unstoppable “if-then” machine.
I missed the stoplight! Crap! I’ll be late and everything is ruined!
I have a whole morning off! This is going to be amazing, I’ll feel so creative!
This client doesn’t want to renew! I need to scramble and “do more marketing” to find someone new!
This part of my brain is sure it’s right, and it often gets me in trouble.
So, for the last few months, I’ve been working with a new motto, and I have to say, it’s going great.
The new phrase I try to remember at all times: “I have no idea what’s possible.”
It’s literally true. That’s part of what’s good about it. It’s incredibly easy for me to find evidence of this all around me on a day-to-day, mundane basis.
I had no idea that the reflection of a tree on still water would take my breath away this morning.
I had no idea my air conditioner would start making a loud noise, and that when I called my AC guy, he’d be available that day and wouldn’t charge me for fixing it.
I had no idea my friend would crash a borrowed car, only for it to work out better for the owners than if he’d returned it intact.
I have no idea how any of you will respond to this email.
It’s simply truer that I have no idea what’s possible than that I know what’s going to happen next.
The old farmer in the stallion story knew this.
I think all truly wise and happy people know this.
I find it especially helpful to remember before difficult conversations, where we’re trying to game out the whole scenario.
Try it on. Does it feel like relief?
It does to me.
Impossibly yours,
Rachel
PS – Last call for my marketing BFF Dana’s new Marketing Accelerator group coaching program. For 90 minutes each week, he’ll help you figure out what to actually do for marketing and make time to get it done. Use the promo code “Rachel25” by 9/30 to get $25/month off for up to 6 months! This is a fantastic program if you’re already in charge of marketing for a small business and need help getting it done—and done
