Which party would you rather go to?
Option 1: The Everyone Party
“We’re throwing a big party!
Everyone’s invited!
We’ll have things everyone likes!
Crowd-pleasers, here we come!”
OR…
Option 2: The Special Someones Party
“We’re throwing an exclusive party!
It’s just for people like you, who are obsessed with your favorite obsession!
We’ll have super-inside jokes that only people like us get!
And party favors that only people who love what we all love will appreciate!”
Which do you think will probably be more fun?
The kind of party you’ll remember, invite your friends to, and put on your calendar for next year?
****
Here’s the thing:
Everyone = no one.
It’s true in marketing. When you try to appeal to everyone, your language gets broader, safer, and more generic. Nobody feels particularly excluded—but nobody feels particularly seen, either.
But I think it’s true far beyond marketing.
You don’t need everyone to like you
You don’t need everyone to want to hire you.
You don’t need everyone to want to be your friend.
You don’t need everyone to want to date you.
You need the right clients to think, “Oh, this is for me.”
The right friends to delight in the particular weirdo that you are.
The right mate to want you, specifically—not the broadly appealing, crowd-pleasing version of you.
Which means some people won’t get it.
Some people won’t like it.
Some people won’t choose you.
That’s not a failure of the strategy. That’s how the strategy works.
The more energy you spend trying to make yourself palatable to everyone, the less distinctly you you become.
And the people who are actually looking for what you have to offer have a harder time finding you.
So yes: Get really clear about your ideal clients.
But also your ideal friends. Your ideal collaborators. Your ideal community. Your ideal mate.
You don’t need a room full of everyone.
You need your special someones.
And you get to choose them, too.
Spend your life throwing a super-specific party you truly enjoy.
Metaphorically.
Or literally. Why not?
PS — How much energy are you spending trying to be chosen by people you’re not even sure you choose? If you’re ready to get clearer about what you actually want—in your relationships, work, or life—let’s talk
